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Red Gerbera

So you think he is the one....

This is very tricky and a bit funny but let me tell you about a time when I thought I had found the one....

I was of the belief that a relationship should allow for freedom. I wanted freedom to be me and wanted my love to be free as well. I would suppress any feelings that I was uncertain and show up as the better one. I ignored the feeing that things were happening behind my back because my rational mind could not believe that would be the truth. Do you know why I didn’t believe in my gut feelings? I thought he loved me like I loved him. I thought love would solve everything and I trusted him more than I trusted myself and my instincts..... I had to learn the hard way....

Later on I got pregnant and then he showed me who he really was. I would go to bed and he would leave in the middle of the night. I would wake up to find the house empty. Many nights I would be on the balcony crying and wondering where did I go wrong and now I was with baby and I was very vulnerable.

Many years later I sit and think about these times and wonder. Did I give too much freedom or were we not understanding each other? One persons freedom might not be the same for the other person. So how do we handle relationships... are there relationships that allow freedom and that thrive?What does freedom mean to women and to men? Does it mean different things for men or was it just my husband?

To understand each other communication is key. I know women and men communicate differently and when I wanted to have a relationship that was free I meant we were able to communicate and spend time with our friends and not have set times. He took it as a way to date other women.... That was not what I meant at all. I thank him for “hurting” me so badly with his behaviour because it made me a great Relationship and Heart Coach and a really good one. I spot these people right away and hold them accountable. I have helped women clear stuff that would otherwise attract that kind of behavior from a man and I help women either get out of a bad relationship or help them find each other and lasting love. Sometimes the things that hurt you the most are the things that “give” you the most. Welcome to heal your relationship or just your heart.

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